The Greatest Gift You Can Give

“But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.’” I Peter 4:7-8

James 3:16 - “Let no corrupt talk out of your mouth, but only such as is good for building up, that fits the occasion, but it may give grace to those who hear.”

We all know people who spend holidays alone or with friends because they don’t get along with the family. We all know people who are not speaking to one of their parents, or their siblings or children for a variety of reasons-they disagree on something. I am refering to “petty” (small, minor, unimportant) things ONLY. The issues cause families to never celebrate holidays together. People, in their stubbornness, refuse to let go of whatever is keeping them apart.

I have been there, so I speak from experience, but we have forgiven one another and moved back into relationship with one another. I have several people on my prayer lists that I am praying for relationship restoration with God and with other family members or friends. Neither party is speaking to each other for one reason or another. Most of them are not petty issues but of a more serious nature but they can also be worked out. The hard part is that these people don’t even have “holiday relationships.”

It seems there are two issues that separate people throughout the year and especially on holidays. One is unforgiveness, which seems to run rampant more and more in our world, even among Christians. The other is “toxic” people, who we are told to “cut out of our lives.” We are told we don’t need toxic people in our lives.

It seems 2 people, even Christians, disagree with each other, so they take offense with each other, and then before you know it, they aren’t forgiving one another. BAM! Disagreement equals unforgiveness.

It seems “toxicity” is a trend right now. There is so much talk today about “toxic” people and putting up boundaries to stay away from those people even if they’re family members. Are we labeling people and family members as “toxic” when the truth is we may just be incompatible or have just misunderstood each other’s expectations?? Are we labeling other and people as “unforgivable” when the truth is we just may not agree on viewpoints?

The intellectualism (the ability to love or not love another person in an intelligent way without feelings and emotions) of this world has numerous explanations for why you should stay away from “toxic” people and even just people you don’t see eye to eye with. First, God is not a God without feelings and emotions. He has created us with feelings and emotions. He is the one who gives us the ability to love. He created us for relationships. Aren’t Christians called to love their enemies and pray for them who “persecute” us?

As Christian’s, the key is to love, forgive and accept others. Relationship healing will not take place because of who I am or who the other person is. It’s about Jesus Christ and who He is in our lives. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ. God forgave you.” Eph. 4:32 Healing will happen when He is in the midst of us. Don’t label others but forgive them as Christ has done the same for us. Is it that difficult to forgive someone who has wronged us with mostly petty grievances when God has forgiven us COMPLETELY for so much more? Accept and forgive one another; you can still keep your distance if you need to but love them.

Spending time together as a family on Thanksgiving and Christmas simply provides us all with the blessing to enjoy each other's company. It gives us reassurance we are loved, and can celebrate the season and create wonderful memories. It’s not really about the holiday, but the holidays give us a reason to come together if we can only look past our differences.

This blog is not about trying to sell you on all your family members that everybody is okay and we should love each other and be one big happy family but to remind you AND me that we ALL have people in our lives we struggle with and we have differences BUT His return is coming soon. “Yes, I AM coming soon!” (Rev. 22:20) Are we ready or will He come unexpectedly and we’re caught holding unforgiveness or holding a “toxic” person away or holding a grudge??

The world says, cut off people we won’t forgive, cut off people who have done wrong to us, cut off people who don’t agree with us, cut off people who are toxic….The problem with this gospel is it causes us to have a prideful view of ourselves and a shallow view of all people God created, and loves. God didn’t see us as unforgivable, and I would say sin is toxic so aren’t we all “toxic” people?? Yet, He loves us, forgives us, and accepts us.

Jesus hung out with the unforgivable, outcast, toxic people, and forgave, and loved all people. Let God have the wrong’s you have suffered. Let Him heal them. Don’t quench the love in your life with family members, but live daily renewed.

Who is in your life that you haven’t spoken to in a long time? Do you even remember what the offense or grudge is? Call them, text them or just post on their Facebook page. Just reach out with one sentence and say something kind or check on them. A one line statement of love and acceptance could mean the whole world to them.

“Bear with each other, and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive us, the Lord forgave you. And over all these arches, put on love, which binds them all together and perfect unity.” Col. 3:13-14